Communication

What & Why?

Compassionate Communication is a model that is conceptually simple to understand. And it is immensely effective whether or not the other person is famiilar with it. Working with groups of 6-15 people, we share this 4-step model:

1. Observation -- what is actually happening;
2. Feeling -- our response to the observation (or "trigger");
3. Need -- the universal human need that is or isn't getting met;
4. Request -- asking ourselves or another to make one small step to meeting that need.

Here's how we can transform a simple sentence:
Before -- "You haven't finished it yet? You know we've got to get this done today!"
After -- "When I see it's 4 pm and this isn't finished, I'm pretty stressed and am needing support. Would you be willing to finish this before you leave tonight?"

Do you think you might respond differently to these two questions?

Through role plays, groupwork, journaling and more, we look deeply at these 4 simple tools and how we can use them to understand, empathise with, and meet everyone’s needs.

The aims...

The aims are twofold: 1) to stay in connection with one another, ensuring there is a level of empathy and also that message sent is the same as message received, and 2) to get everyone's needs met in a peaceful way.

Staying in connection with others helps improve morale, teamwork, and overall relationships. It gives us the opportunity and ability to clear up misunderstandings. And to be able to voice concerns or differences before they become bigger problems.

Staying in connection with ourselves helps us to be authentic and genuine. And to have the courage to express what is true for us.

How do we get everyone's needs met peacefully? We move away from strategies and positions, where conflict takes place. We aim to discover the underlying needs of everyone involved, and work from there. The goal is not to eliminate conflict, which can be a powerful and positive catalyst for change. The goal is to understand and then transform it.

Background -- Where does Compassionate Communication come from?

It's based on NVC (Nonviolent Communication), developed by Marshall Rosenberg and the Centre for Nonviolent Communication (cnvc.org.) This model has been around since the 1960s and has been used all over the world in schools, justice systems, peace negotiations, the business world, as well as for improving personal relationships.

Marshall Rosenberg developed and first used NVC to teach mediation and communication skills. In 1984, he established the Center for Nonviolent Communication (www.cnvc.org) in Arizona, which is a centre for world-wide activity.

Today there are over 200 certified and non-certified trainers in over 25 countries. The scope of activity is broad, from schoolyard mediation in Israel to restorative justice circles in Brazil. Many people with a spiritual focus in their lives comment on how supportive these communication tools are of their spiritual practice.

Click here for upcoming trainings in Compassionate Communication in Scotland.